Wednesday, July 8, 2009


every decision made is designed to solve something.

more and more lately, i have found myself searching for a solution to my utter distaste for a certain coworker, due to the fact that my constant heartburn in her presence is really making me miserable.
a few weeks ago i thought i had solved the problem by virtue of a certain epiphany:

Years from now, I will wonder why I wasted so much energy (and money spent on Tums) being angry. Therefore, I choose to preserve my health and energy and stop being angry at (insert name here).

it really did help for a while, but a certain turn of events in the workplace have caused this person to become 27 times (that was for Ruth) the thorn in my side she previously was, and i am apparently too weak to resist the influence of her icky behavior.

Solution #1:
Seek new job (working on it...).

Follow-up Solution to Solution #1:
Avoid undesirable coworker if and when at all possible (most definitely already doing, even to the extent of taking my homemade lunch to an outside establishment).

Solution #2:
Don't let her know she's getting to you (trying my darndest with my suave acting skills; i deserve an Oscar).

this is my best shot so far at conserving my energy and disposition while on the job.
i am quite disappointed in myself for allowing it to affect me so much.
i wish i was:
more tolerant
better able to ignore ridiculous-ness

really and truly, i do wish these things...

but you know, it just occurred to me, perhaps this really is the "thorn in my side...?"
(sorry about the mid-blog revelation... work in progress, folks...)

i was at church (SHOCK) a few weeks ago, due to this choir director position i recently landed, and the minister preached a sermon that actually spoke to me.
this hasn't happened in years, so i was naturally surprised to find myself actually listening and agreeing.
the sermon was based on a New Testament passage where the Apostle Paul discusses "a thorn in my side," how he had asked God repeatedly to remove it, but it was still there.

anyway, this is not a preaching blog, nor am i a preaching person, so i'll end my Bible study there....
it makes sense, really.... boy, it sure does SUCK if i'm right...

i'm gonna have to sleep on this one.
and continue eating my lunch elsewhere... no need to push it, you know...


  1. Jason and I discuss choices a lot these days (going back to your first sentence on decisions). It really is true that everything in life is a choice. Which also means... you can choose, and can do, the right thing here, Hannah! God will help you.
    (That was meant to be encouraging, in case it didn't come off that way)
    And the mention of Ruth and 27 made me smile. Although I thought it was 27 and 1/2... hmm.

  2. i do think you are right, my dear Eleanor. it IS 27 1/2... dangit.
    i'm losing my edge...