Monday, August 10, 2009


ah, yes... it is night.
it is late.
it is the end of yet another day where i am too tired to be entertaining.
depressing, isn't it?

a movie i recently saw (Julie & Julia, please see ASAP), impacted me deeply, but the thing i'm thinking of most right now is the not-so-subtle warning from the movie to leave your job out of your blog. and that i shall do... because i don't want any awkward conferences with my future-former boss regarding my dramatizing of the agonizing minutia i am subjected to Monday through Friday. although, this blog is not searchable under my name, nor does the good doctor know my email address, but i'd rather be safe than sorry (aka: wishing i could disappear rapidly while sitting in her comfortable, extra chairs that get no butt time whatsoever while the rest of us are sticking it out in the most unsupportive, wobbly, cheap office chairs ever). thus ends my occupational comments.
i think i am being wise.
yes, i am.

i apologize, mr./ms. anonymous, for you have anxiously demanded the nature of my whereabouts for the past 2 weeks... and here i am, too exhausted to be interesting. i will say, in my defense, i have been cleaning, dieting (that should explain everything), planning a martini party and having a nervous breakdown while in the meantime making things dirty, gaining weight and pushing the preparations for the aforementioned martini party farther down on my List of Things to Procrastinate (the nervous breakdown has no antithesis). at this time, kindly picture me in a room of millions of messy piles of books, papers and bits of sentimental nonsense i don't have the stamina to discard, in yet another rickety office chair, an old chenille blankie (yes, blankie) draped over my shoulders, eyelids drooping in a frighteningly, middle-aged way. i am tired and disorganized.... which makes me more tired. and less motivated to pull my talents together and make something of myself ("somebody call the waaaambulance"- The Kid). this, my friends, is what separates the men from the boys, the go-getters from the couch potatoes, the graduates from the drop-outs.... for i am sure that those people who grow up to become financially stable, recognized in their communities, those frustratingly devoted spouses and disciplined parents are the people who get past the hum-drums to pick up the dirty socks, wash the dishes and bake blueberry muffins. the ridiculous part of it all is that writers know how to sound good but, in reality, are not good. nope. just good at talking about it. i probably seem like a promising, bright individual, but the sad truth is i am not. not right now. not when it is dark outside, and the alarm clock is threatening to ring before i am ready (as if it ever takes a break).
11pm must be the hour of self-deprecation and imbalance... i just can't open my eyes wide enough to be positive.

and it's only Monday.
hollaback, sympathizers. i may return the favor.

not yours, not truly,


  1. A MARTINI PARTY?! ugh... so jealous. i seriously need to live in the same city as you again. i love how you don't mind spending hours (and $$$) preparing food and drink recipes in order for even a small get-together to be a culinary success... *sigh... the world of oatmeal and granola is getting very bland.

    also- please don't say that you aren't talented or a go-getter or successful or devoted.
    you're friggin awesome.
    you're punch-drunk full of talent (please ignore the misuse of adjectives, thanks), and you ARE promising and bright, you ninny! haven't you seen joe vs. the volcano?! don't you know that a crappy fluorescent-lit job can suck the very marrow from your bones?! but it only takes one stormy boat ride to a tropical island to help you realize the exciting destiny-ness of life is already INSIDE you, it has little to do w/ the outer fluorescent-y drudgery of your life!! bah-HA!

    welp, there's my soapboxery for the day. cook sum'n good for me :)

  2. Dearest Hannah,
    Remember the Bible College mantra? Never take yourself too seriously after 11pm. Never.
    Unless you're feeling good, of course.
    Ok, so that wasn't really our mantra. But it should have been. At least for the girls. :) At least for me. It holds very true for me still. Which is probably why I don't stay up until 11 much anymore.
    Did Julie and Julia leave you feeling emotional? I left the theater very emotional. Not crying or anything. Feeling good, actually. But emotional. And like I could cry.

    Hm...I don't seem to have said anything that would be helpful here. Maybe you should go read Kate's comment again...

    Or Calvin and Hobbes. :)

    I love you!

  3. Thanks for the encouragement, my dears. :)
    Just for the record, I wasn't fishing for positivity... just venting after a long day.

    Thank you all the same.
    You brighten my day and lift my spirit.

  4. Hannah, you're awesome. =D

  5. I agree with Anonymous! You are awesome! Martini party was fantastic! Thanks again!